MY FRIEND

Here I was, standing in the huge Borders in Burlington Vermont, when I finally got to see the latest copy of Somerset Life. I had looked for it at home, but none of the bookstores seemed to have it. I opened to read all about my friend ( and yours, I hope), Clarice at StoryBook Woods. Clarice was such a help to me when I set up this blog; she is very patient with technophobes! I am sure I was smirking as I looked at the house I had visited this summer and the beautiful secluded fairytale setting ( how many times did I drive by the driveway and not even see it??). I wanted to shout to everyone around " I know this talented woman, I even went to Storybook Woods", but alas, for once I was quiet. But I smirked, oh yes I did. I certainly hope you get a chance to read the article and run over to congratulate Clarice.

Later,
Janet

SMILES

FINALLY!! Someone who agrees with my lifestyle!!!

An interview with World renowned health expert, Dr. Ima Numskull......

Q: I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life; is this true?

A: Your heart is only good for so many beats,and that's it. Don't waste them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer; that's like saying you can extend the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer? Take a nap. ~

Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?

A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay and corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than an efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable). And a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended daily allowance of vegetable products.

~

Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?

A: No, not at all. Wine is made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine, that means they take the water out of the fruity bit so you get even more of the goodness that way. Beer is also made out of grain. Bottoms up!

~

Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?

A: Well, if you have a body and you have fat your ratio is one to one. If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.

~

Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?

A: Can't think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No Pain...Good!

~

Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?

A: YOU'RE NOT LISTENING!!! . . . Foods are fried these days in vegetable oil. In fact, they're permeated in it. How could getting more vegetables be bad for you?

~

Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?

A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach

~

Q: Is chocolate bad for me?

A: Are you crazy? HELLO Cocoa beans! Another vegetable!!! It's the best feel-good food around!

~

Q: Is swimming good for your figure?

A: If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me.

~

Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets. And remember: 'Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather an attempt to skid in sideways - Cabernet in one hand - chocolate in the other - body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming 'WOO HOO, What a Ride!'

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And . . . . . For those of you who watch what you eat, here's the final word on nutrition and health. It's a relief to know the truth after all those conflicting nutritional studies.

1. The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

2 The Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

3. The Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

4. The Italians drink a lot of red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

5. The Germans drink a lot of beers and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

CONCLUSION: Eat and drink what you like. Speaking English is apparently what kills you.

~

Hope you are eating your way through a beautiful Holiday Weekend; way to go Columbus!!

HE'S BAAAAACK!

Will you look at those teeth?? Remember when Christopher Lowell was the TV Design Darling and he was on all the time? Then, suddenly he was gone, gone, gone. Well, he is back on the Fine Living network starting this Saturday night. I am not sure I will watch him this time around, but if *he* is making a comeback wouldn't it be great if Lynette Jennings and Kitty Bartholomew made comebacks too? *sigh*

Later,

OPINIONS PLEASE

Here's the current view of the fireplace. It doesn't look too bad from this vantage point, but I have hated it since I moved in 17 years ago. I want a fireplace that looks classic and classy. I want the bricks to be antique and a soft clay color. You know what I mean, right??
Bad picture, I know. I should have run it through PhotoShop to lighten and brighten, but I am being lazy! The hearth is raised with a brick border around slate.


Here is the ugly brick. It's pre-formed from some kind of colored concrete. Nasty texture, not bricklike.


Maybe a first cousin to Lava Rock!! I have no money for a new mantel or new surround of any sort. No one seems to be buying houses these days? Why not?? So, do I paint the bricks white? What about the slate? I've wondered about watering down some terra cotta paint( from my Dining Room) and some of the gold paint( from the Living Room) and maybe trying some sponge glazing/ dabbing/ daubing technique to soften the colors.

Opinions please....you know you have them, lol.

Later,

Janet

CHEESY??

Bob and I are having fun playing around with our antiquated version of PhotoShop. We just love how this comes out with minimal fuss. I want to make all my pictures look like this *sigh*, but the Web Developer son tells me this is "cheesy" and oh so amateurish. He does concede that my being aware of PhotoShop at my age is probably better than most! Where did this kid get his sense of humor??

Later,
Janet

OUCH

I have had to turn the furnace on! I always wait as long as possible and try to keep the heat set as low as possible for as long as possible. Fortunately I am very warm blooded, just as unfortunately Hubbie is not. Thus begins the Winter of Our Discontent!

MOTHERS

Again, shamelessly lifted from an e-mail I received, but well worth reading. Kind of ties in with my post from Tuesday.

MOTHERS

Real Mothers don't eat quiche; they don't have time to make it.

Real Mothers know that their kitchen utensils are probably in the

sandbox.

Real Mothers often have sticky floors, filthy ovens and happy kids.

Real Mothers know that dried play dough doesn't come out of carpets.

Real Mothers don't want to know what the vacuum just sucked up.

Real Mothers sometimes ask 'Why me?' and get their answer when a little

voice says, 'Because I love you best.'

Real Mothers know that a child's growth is not measured by height or

years or grade...It is marked by the progression of Mommy to Mom to

Mother....

The Images of Mother

4 YEARS OF AGE - My Mommy can do anything!

8 YEARS OF AGE - My Mom knows a lot! A whole lot!

12 YEARS OF AGE - My Mother doesn't really know quite everything.

14 YEARS OF AGE - Naturally, Mother doesn't know that, either .

16 YEARS OF AGE - Mother? She's hopelessly old-fashioned.

18 YEARS OF AGE - That old woman? She's way out of date!

25 YEARS OF AGE - Well, she might know a little bit about it.

35 Y EARS OF AGE - Before we decide, let's get Mom' s opinion.

45 YEARS OF AGE - Wonder what Mom would have thought about it?

65 YEARS OF AGE - Wish I could talk it over with Mom.

The beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears, the figure that

she carries, or the way she combs her hair ... The beauty of a woman

must be seen from in her eyes, because that is the doorway to her heart,

the place where love resides. The beauty of a woman is not in a facial

mole, but true beauty in a woman is reflected in her soul ... It is the

caring that she lovingly gives, the passion that she shows, and the

beauty of a woman with passing years only grows!

Please send this to 5 women today in celebration of Women's History

Month.

If you don't, nothing bad will happen, but if you do, something good

will: you will boost a Mother's spirits.

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