Saturday, December 20, 2008

PATHETIC ATTEMP AT A POST...

I am thinking of you, really I am. You have all been so kind with your encouragement, but where is the time going? Every day I mean to post and then I don't even get a chance to turn on the computer. There is the House from Hell to clean out as well as getting myself and my own home ready for the holidays. My parents were here for four days before leaving for Arizona Wednesday.There is cooking to do (and you know that is my favorite part), presents to wrap and I have to get ready for my "baby" to come home from Seattle on Tuesday AM. The house is not really decorated but Mother Nature helped yesterday by covering the outside in a fluffy white coat...it looks beautiful and oh so festive. On that note I wish you all a Very Happy Holiday and a Healthy and Prosperous New Year. Read below to lighten your spirits...it will not lighten the rest of you, lol.



HOLIDAY EATING TIPS 1. Avoid carrot sticks. Anyone who puts carrots on a holiday buffet table knows nothing of the Christmas spirit. In fact, if you see carrots, leave immediately. Go next door, where they're serving rum balls. 2. Drink as much eggnog as you can - And quickly. It's rare. You cannot find it any other time of year but now. So drink up! Who cares that it has 10,000 calories in every sip? It's not as if you're going to turn into an eggnog-alcoholic or something. It's a treat. Enjoy it! Have one for me ...Have two! It's later than you think. It's Christmas! 3. if something comes with gravy, use it. That's the whole point of gravy. Gravy does not stand alone. Pour it on. Make a volcano out of your mashed potatoes. Fill it with gravy. Eat the volcano. Repeat. 4. as for mashed potatoes, always ask if they're made with skim milk or whole milk. If it's skim, pass. Why bother? It's like buying a sports car with an automatic transmission. 5. Do not have a snack before going to a party in an effort to control your eating. The whole point of going to a Christmas party is to eat other people's food for free. Lots of it. Hello? 6. Under no circumstances should you exercise between now and New Year's. You can do that in January when you have nothing else to do. This is the time for long naps, which you'll need after circling the buffet table while carrying a 10-pound plate of food and that vat of eggnog. 7. If you come across something really good at a buffet table, like frosted Christmas cookies in the shape and size of Santa, position yourself near them and don't budge. Have as many as you can before becoming the the center of attention. They're like a beautiful pair of shoes. If you leave them behind, you're never going to see them again. 8. Same for pies. Apple, Pumpkin, Mincemeat. Have a slice of each . Or if you don't like mincemeat, have two apples and one pumpkin. Always have three. When else do you get to have more than one dessert? Labor Day? 9. Did someone mention fruitcake? Granted, it's loaded with the mandatory celebratory calories, but avoid it at all cost. I mean, have some standards! 10. One final tip: If you don't feel terrible when you leave the party or get up from the table, you haven't been paying attention. Re-read tips: Start over, but hurry, January is just around the corner. Remember this motto to live by: "Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well-preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming "WOO HOO!! What a ride!"

Later,

Janet

17 comments:

  1. Very funny, Janet.

    I'll have to try one or three of those tips...

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  2. What a good idea Margaret, good luck with rescuing 'lost unloved' scarves.

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  3. Thanks for giving us permission to live it up for Christmas! Hooray! No diets until January 2nd.

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  4. Hi Janet,
    Popping in from my blog break to wish you a wonderful Christmas. I know you have alot on your plate right now. I wish I could come help, or hug....which ever you need the most. I am thinking about you.
    (((((HUGS)))))
    Penny

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  5. hi janet. i'm so glad you posted, i was DYING without you! i watched your weather and wondered how you would respond to the snow. i'm sure it beats the tweet out of vac'ing water from a cellar... anyway, i hope the reunion with b. is so sweet, and that you have a fun, foodfilled holiday. enjoy and don't worry about the decorations. the people are the important part of christmas! xoxo, jano

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  6. we are twins! we have the same post today with the tips!
    Merry Christmas friend I will hopefully be back on more after the holiday at least between christmas and new years!

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  7. Janet, you are a riot! I loved all of the tips and I will be sure to have a few egg nogs in your honor. Sliding in sideways with chocolate in one hand and a used up body! Priceless!

    Merry Christmas and enjoy your time with your daughter. Clink, clink - cheers!

    xo
    Becky

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  8. Janet~Hope you & your family are doing well with the holidays coming & all that you've been thru in such a short time span. I'm thinking of you & know you've got a lot to deal with right now so permission to live it up this christmas & enjoy some good eats!:) chris

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  9. My son is home for the holidays also---He has flown in from SEattle toooooo ;-)

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  10. Janet, I wish you and your family a season of peace and love. Don't stress. Everything will be fine - even what doesn't get done.

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  11. Hi Janet :)

    That's really funny! LOL

    I wanted to wish you a Merry Christmas and also to thank you for being so sweet to me from the beginning of my time here in Blogland.

    Oh and we're moving ;)

    hugs,
    rue

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  12. You have been in my thoughts so much Janet..wish I could be there to help you.

    Merry Christmas sweet friend...I send love and many warm hugs to you and your family.

    Sue

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  13. Goodness, Janet, you are dealing with all kinds of stress this holiday! I just popped in to say Merry Christmas but instead feel like I should be offering to overnight a vat of eggnog! And, I have to say, that last post was hilarious. I'm totally impressed that you have this sense of humor with what you're dealing with. My thoughts are with you.
    Best,
    ~Angela :-)

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  14. hee hee! Merry Christmas Janet...now back to that eggnog!
    Karla & Karrie

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  15. Oh too funny!

    Hope you and your family are having a lovely holiday season together.

    Thank you for filling your blog all year long with all kinds of interesting and inspirational posts.

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  16. Wishing lots of good things for you & yours in 2009! Happy New Year...

    As always,
    Cassie

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Thanks for stopping by. Please leave me a comment if you have enjoyed my blog. I look forward to "chatting" with you.

Thanks,
Janet