Saturday, September 13, 2008

I WOULD HAVE KILLED HIM....

Why parents drink!! Thought this was amusing, but thankfully my kids are grown now!

A father passing by his son's bedroom was astonished to see that his
bed was nicely made and everything was picked up. Then he saw an
envelope, propped up prominently on the pillow that was addressed to
'Dad'. With the worst premonition he opened the envelope with
trembling hands and read the letter.

Dear Dad:
It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I had to
elope with my new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with
Mom and you. I have been finding real passion with Stacy and she is
so nice.
But I knew you would not approve of he r because of all her
piercing, tattoos, tight motorcycle clothes and the fact that she is
much older than I am.

But it's not only the passion...

Dad she's pregnant. Stacy said that we will be very happy.

She owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood for the
whole winter. We share a dream of having many more children. Stacy
has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn't really hurt
anyone. We'll be growing it for ourselves and
trading it with the other people that live nearby for cocaine and
ecstasy. In the meantime we will pray that science
will find a cure for AIDS so that Stacy can get better. She deserves
it. Don't worry Dad. I'm 15, and I know how to take care of myself.
Someday I'm sure that we will be back to visit so that you can get to
know your grandchildren.

Love,

Your Son, John

PS. Dad, none of the above is true. I'm over at Tommy's house. I just
wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than a
report card. That's in my center desk drawer. I love you. Call me when
it's safe to come home.


15 comments:

  1. Absolutely love it!!! This sounds like something one of my kids would write, really. Kind of puts life into perspective too doesn't it?!

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  2. Too funny! It puts things into perspective, doesn't it?

    I envy you. It must be a fun job to be able to see such pretty homes and how they are all decorated, especially for open homes.

    Have a great weekend.

    Melissa

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  3. Of course I'll be back!! I've bookmarked you and will check out your friend's blog later this weekend! I'm finally off work for the day, YAY!! Have a great weekend. Cindy

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  4. LOL!!! Those kids sure know how to work us, don't the?!

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  5. Awesome! Where did you find this?

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  6. I am notorious for jumping to conclusions, so I never would have made it to the end. I'd be in prison.

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  7. Do you have a link to "Life in Red Shoes" the friend you told me about in Utah? I'd love to see her blog but I don't see her on you list of blogging buddies! Just leave me a comment with it if you have it! Thanks.

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  8. All I can say is OH MY....guess there are worse things than report cards. I would have wanted to wring the kids neck! ;)
    Take care, DebraK

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  9. Love this post janet!!! I wish I had thought of this trick when I got the occassional bad report card!LOL! Wonderful & funny~xo chris p.s. thanks for visitng & your kind words on my knee surgery~I appreciate it! :)

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  10. That was good! Puts things in perspective doesn't it.

    Manuela

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  11. Hi Janet,
    I got a good chuckle out of that.It does put things in persective! Carolyn

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  12. That was great, I have a 16 year old and can cant even imagine getting a note like that...
    Too funny,
    Jo-Anne

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  13. Oh Janet! This is hysterical Janet!
    I needed a good laugh and you provided it!

    Thank you!

    Love,
    Sue

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  14. This is a scream. Wish I'd have thought of something like that back in the day, but it probably would have yielded worse results than the report card!

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Thanks,
Janet