Friday, December 21, 2007
MARTHA, YOU DONE ME WRONG
Every year I grow paperwhite narcissi ( I guess that is the plural, right?) and each year just as they blossom they start to flop. Each year I believe that that is the year that will be different, that I won't come downstairs a couple morning before Christmas to find them sprawled sideways, .alas Hope springs eternal. Each year I am disappointed to varying degrees, so this year I was so excited. the great Martha herself had a tip. Plant them in the usual gravel, but water them with 10 parts water to one part rubbing alcohol and they will only grow 2/3 as big and won't flop!! Can I tell you how excited I was about this? Very, very excited. I know that alcohol will stunt our growth, so why not paperwhites. I contemplated giving them coffee and cigarettes as well, just to make sure they were stunted, but didn't want to waste the coffee and I haven't had a cigarette in over 11 months. I prepared the water mixture and proceeded. Well they sprouted, at least most of them did, but they never grew roots ( the roots are what keep them anchored in the stones prior to the Big Flop). So, no roots and the buds are drying up without opening and I am not happy with you know who. You would think she or her minions would have tried this first!!! Now I have Christmas without that signature paperwhite scent for the first time in maybe 30 years...boohoo!!