Friday, December 21, 2007

MARTHA, YOU DONE ME WRONG



Every year I grow paperwhite narcissi ( I guess that is the plural, right?) and each year just as they blossom they start to flop. Each year I believe that that is the year that will be different, that I won't come downstairs a couple morning before Christmas to find them sprawled sideways, .alas Hope springs eternal. Each year I am disappointed to varying degrees, so this year I was so excited. the great Martha herself had a tip. Plant them in the usual gravel, but water them with 10 parts water to one part rubbing alcohol and they will only grow 2/3 as big and won't flop!! Can I tell you how excited I was about this? Very, very excited. I know that alcohol will stunt our growth, so why not paperwhites. I contemplated giving them coffee and cigarettes as well, just to make sure they were stunted, but didn't want to waste the coffee and I haven't had a cigarette in over 11 months. I prepared the water mixture and proceeded. Well they sprouted, at least most of them did, but they never grew roots ( the roots are what keep them anchored in the stones prior to the Big Flop). So, no roots and the buds are drying up without opening and I am not happy with you know who. You would think she or her minions would have tried this first!!! Now I have Christmas without that signature paperwhite scent for the first time in maybe 30 years...boohoo!!

Later,
Janet

11 comments:

  1. I don't know a lot about plants, but my mother grew paperwhites in potting soil. They withstood some exceedingly rough handling with no drooping at all.

    Maybe next year?

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  2. Oh my gosh I love the name of this post. Made me smile !! I sorry about your paperwhites :-( Clarice

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  3. Just found your blog. I'm suppose to be wrapping presents but I'm lurking around. So sorry about your paperwhites...just proves you know who doesn't know everything :-)! Love your blog. Merry Christmas.

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  4. I've never tried growing Paperwhites. They are so beautiful...I might have to give them a try....or rather J will have to give them a try....he's the resident gardener.

    Merry Christmas!!
    Pat

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  5. I loved touring your Christmas home! Using pinecones as decorations is so wonderful. I like bringing nature inside. I love bulbous flowers, and I have paperwhites every year. I grow them in normal potting soil, keep them cold and quite dry. Too much water makes them too tall.
    Have a great weekend :-)

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  6. bad bad martha! there is always next year, but it is so disappointing. fortunately, the oven smells will compensate to some degree!

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  7. Quick...run to Walmart...they have some planted and growing...just waiting for someone to take them home. Well, at least our Walmart has them. Hurry...it's not too late to follow the tradition. Dianntha

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  8. Since my gardening skills are pretty much on the same level as my cooking skills, I have never been brave enough to even give this a try! Wonder where she learned that little tip? It's funny how many little tips she shares, but you don't hear the words "I have done this...." very often!

    So sorry one of your traditions may not survive the season...try to press on and bake something wonderful!

    Cassie

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  9. How disapointing! I dont blame you for being upset... maybe you could get a few at a florist. I hate for you to miss out on your favorite smell! I always try hyacinths in late January, and it never works out right either. I've found them at Kroger for a few dollars a piece, already blooming. So much easier! But then again, Martha would never approve.

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  10. Janet, so sorry to hear about your paperwhites. My grandmother always ties a pretty ribbon around the tops, near the bloom to hold them up? Give it a try!!!!!!

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  11. arrrggghhhhh!! Curse you Martha!!!!!!

    ... and it ain't the first time!

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Thanks,
Janet